Fighting Like a Girl

Fighting Like a Girl

By Sheila Thornton Warfield

Our ability to optimize who we are is influenced by so many factors and striving to realize our full potential is evergreen. Like so many of us, I’ve had many missteps in my career or ‘day job’’ that have caused delays, detours and full stops that changed the trajectory of my career. Yet, showing up authentically every day regardless of role is key to being able to look at yourself in the mirror. Of course it’s not always easy and sometimes feels impossible, however, we must be brave enough to do it anyway. And, once we show up authentically, especially as women, then what? How do we effectively fight (metaphorically speaking) as girls?

I recently came across the list below that offered insights that I believe can help women maneuver and avoid unnecessary career speed bumps. This list of twelve common mistakes women leaders make in their careers, as discussed by Sally Helgesen and Marshall Goldsmith in “How Women Rise”, is priceless. Oh, how I wish this list could have been shared with me early in my career! I have no doubt that I would have managed my journey better and operated with even more confidence and finesse. Today, I’m proud to fight like a girl with more effectiveness and share some words of wisdom that can help women elevate how they navigate their own career journeys.

Common Mistakes by Women Leaders

1. Reluctance to claim achievements: Women may attribute their success to others rather than owning their contributions, which can hinder their recognition and advancement.

2. Expecting others to spontaneously notice and reward contributions: Women might not advocate for themselves, waiting for others to recognize their value instead of actively communicating their accomplishments.

3. Overvaluing expertise: Focusing excessively on mastering job skills at the expense of building connections and visibility that could help them advance.

4. Building rather than leveraging relationships: Women may invest in creating a broad network but fail to use it strategically for mutual benefit.

5. Failing to enlist allies from day one: Hesitating to ask for help early on, instead of identifying key supporters who can contribute to their success.

6. Putting your job before your career: Demonstrating loyalty to a fault, which can prevent women from pursuing opportunities that would benefit their long-term career goals.

7. The perfection trap: Believing that anything less than flawless performance is failure, which can discourage risk-taking and create undue stress.

8. The disease to please: Prioritizing the fear of disappointing others over asserting boundaries and saying no when necessary.

9. Minimizing: Using language and body language that diminish presence, undermining the ability to assert oneself effectively.

10. Too much: Providing excessive information or disclosure, rather than being concise and to the point.

11. Ruminating: Spending too much energy on past mistakes and self-blame, which can impede moving forward.

12. Letting your radar distract you: Being overly attuned to the environment and others' responses, leading to scattered attention and reduced presence.

Awareness and intentionality are the first steps to creating positive change. Fighting like a girl takes on new meaning in 2025. Let’s go Ladies!

#Fightlikeagirl #fightlinglikeagirl #operationbutterfly

Cultivate A Healthy Mind

The mind is everything. What you think you become.

~Buddha

Cultivate A Healthy Mind

By Sheila Thornton Warfield

I don’t know about you but cultivating a healthy mind is hard work. It takes real commitment to maintain a positive disposition and guard one’s healthy mind and mindset. I recently came across A Healthy Mind by Alain de Botton who created The School of Life and wanted to share the tips he outlined. See below.

A Healthy Mind…Lessons from the School of Life Extract

1. A healthy mind is an editing mind…

2. A healthy mind resists the pull of unfair comparisons…

3. A healthy mind keeps a judicious grip on the faucet of fear…

4. A healthy mind avoids catastrophic imaginings…

5. A healthy mind has compartments with heavy doors that shut securely…

6. A healthy mind has mastered the techniques of censorship…

7. A healthy mind can quieten its own buzzing preoccupations in order, at times, to focus on the world beyond itself…

8. A healthy mind combines an appropriate suspicion of certain people with a fundamental trust in humanity…

9. A healthy mind knows how to hope; It identifies and then hangs on tenaciously to a few reasons to keep going…it clings to evidence of what is still beautiful and kind. It remembers to appreciate…

Read the full extract.

What do you do to cultivate a healthy mind?

#healthymind #theschooloflife #operationbutterfly

Leaning into Growth

Leaning into Growth

By Sheila Thornton Warfield

Growth stems from so many different experiences – good, bad, and not so good. And, as we grow – by choice, by force, or by coercion, one thing I believe is true is that we must intentionally lean into growth for it to unfold its bounty and beauty and allow us to uncover our full potential.

We often don’t take the time to be amazed at our own lives – not recounting how much we’ve accomplished – staying healthy, being self-sufficient, maintaining careers, raising children, managing healthy relationships, getting that degree, landing that promotion or new job, etc. And many of us are doing all these things at once! Growth is evergreen, and when we embrace it (ready or not), it pulls us forward, reaffirms who we are, and reminds us of what we’re capable of.  Through this new awareness life becomes fuller.

Of course, it’s not always easy, comfortable or positive, however, most times we grossly underestimate our own ability to adapt, move forward, forget, forgive and let what’s in the rear-view mirror, be just that – be in the rear. Focusing our attention on the present moment and being committed to living forward is where hope and new beginnings await.

I know there are no silver bullets or magic carpet rides when it comes to maximizing growth and managing liminality. What I do know is the well-kept secret (well, maybe not so secret) is to literally to take things ‘ONE DAY AT A TIME’. This mindset, along with making the best decisions we can in each moment, is the way forward. The daily practice required to take things ‘one day at a time’ is so crucial and will help us better manage what’s on our plates even if overflowing. This means that we don’t overthink what’s happening next week, three months from now, six months from now or years from now.

Leaning into growth and approaching transition with optimism, self-love, patience, grace and a belief that “I got this!”, can create amazing results and remind us of the possibilities. We reemerge stronger, more focused and more determined than ever.

Our lives are meant to be fully lived, and while growth triggers are not always by our own hands, being positive in our ability to extract every ounce of value from an experience is how we begin to reframe the encounter and use it to better our own lives. Let’s not worry about the length of the transition and/or detour. Let’s concentrate on what we need to pack for the journey - ample fuel, a healthy vessel, sustenance, and the right attitude to enjoy the country roads along the way until we can get back to our respective main roads.

Packed and ready to go? Let’s lean into the curves, appreciate the unexpected views, sing along and out loud to our favorite songs, and just enjoy the ride! Let’s grow!

How are you leaning into growth?

#leanintogrowth #leaningintogrowth #operationbutterfly

A Beautiful Place

A Beautiful Place

By Sheila Thornton Warfield

Oh, how I seek that beautiful place where the art of living is revered and appreciated, and where I can simply be and experience the unimaginable, yet ever so possible euphoric moments William Blake so eloquently described in his poem, Auguries of Innocence:

… “To see a World in a Grain of Sand

And a Heaven in a Wild flower

Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand

And Eternity in an hour” …

If I knew how to journey to this place, I would travel light with only love, hope, joy and my favorite walking stick in hand, and along the way lose myself in all that’s divine.  

How blissful would our lives be if we could experience such shimmers that result from such intense satori moments?

To live such magical moments in our daily lives would fill our cups to the brim and remind us of the wonder that lies within each of us. We need only slow down long enough to hold infinity in the palm of our hands. I can imagine that this beautiful place would spark emotions like these simple everyday pleasures…

… a welcoming brisk fall morning that allows us to see our breath and our eyes to take in the vibrant colors that only autumn brings, and all at once - we are grateful of sight and the privilege of being here.

…the awakened compassion we feel when our beloved pet’s paw touches us, skin to skin, and confirms our connection.

…the accepting embrace of a true friend that soothes and reinforces that we are okay, and they have our back.

…the endless love of the ones we Love that transcends everything and swells our hearts.

…and the never-ending buoyancy that’s lifts and holds us that has been long provided by our past and present heroes and sheroes.

If I could, I would teleport to this place today and remember the way so that I could share with others, so that together, we could light the world with all that’s good.

This beautiful place would be judgement free and would allow us to meet each other where we are. I find the following poem my Rumi very fitting:

 “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about it…”

Ready? Step by step, let’s begin our journeys regardless of where we are today. And, regardless of what we imagine for ourselves, let’s be sure to treasure every instance when we ‘see a world in a grain of sand’ and can simply be who we are, imperfections and all.

#beautifulplace #beautyofplace #operationbutterfly

Choose the Good Stuff

Choose the Good Stuff

 By Sheila Thornton Warfield

Engaging in the daily work to remain committed and focused on a purposeful journey takes real discipline. Yet, like many folks, there are times when I willingly choose to go off course and engage in taking in too much information, streaming too much TV, watching the wrong documentary, and lending ears to mindless chatter. And, despite our choice to willingly lean in, we look up and we’ve gone too deep. We’ve miscalculated the compounded effect of allowing the junk of erroneous words, images and people enter our psyches.

I believe I’m pretty good at having agency and curating what I want and need for a healthy life. However, I let my recent curiosity get the best of me, and I overindulged in mindlessness, and it torpedoed my disposition. And once this happened, my ego showed up, and I was off to the races… complaining about this, being demanding about that, etc. I became impatient, curt, suspicious and anxious. It was time for a self-imposed intervention and reboot.

How did I get here, I asked, and what would it take to recover and get back to the Light? As I considered my choice to sidestep my course in the first place, I had a hard reality to acknowledge - for me even the smallest pinhole of negativity requires instant eradication. The consequences that result from allowing negative forces to be part of my experience for days caused too many distractions and tainted my disposition. I had to pause and work overtime to find my way back to the Light.

Viewing life from the shadows is not where we find peace and joy. Being honest with ourselves and acknowledging the triggers that cause downward spirals requires maturity, self-awareness, and discipline. We need to be determined every single day to only let the good in, especially when we have control, and limit our exposure to the dark and questionable forces that are outside of our control. I’ve always found the “Serenity Prayer” such a timeless and beautiful guide for helping me keep things in perspective: 

God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

the Courage to change the things I can and

the Wisdom to know the difference.

Let’s do ourselves a ‘solid’ and practice the daily acts that help us stay connected to the good, love, and light that strengthen our purpose and give real meaning to our lives.   

Six daily acts to consider:

1. Don’t participate in negative chatter.

2. Create a meter for participating in other people’s stories (and drama). Know when enough is enough.

3. Commit to the self-care routines that fuel you.

4. Engage in only positive self-talk.

5. Surround yourself with positive people.

6. Know that you are, and have always been, enough!

Now, turn, face the light, embrace the warmth, and step forward - always forward. If you need to look back (don’t step back), only do so to remember how far you’ve come and be amazed.  

#goodstuff #choosegoodstuff #operationbutterfly

Take the Gloves Off!

Take the Gloves Off!

By Sheila Thornton Warfield

Taking the gloves off can mean so many different things and most often none of them are positive. However, for me it’s about removing unnecessary layers or barriers that keep me from experiencing life in an authentic and purposeful way.

How can we truly live if we’re constantly fumbling and bumbling trying to put gloves on before experiencing the different parts of life in front of us? This practice prevents us from touching life, from tasting and feeling ‘the all’ of life that reminds us of the simple grace and wonder of just being here.

How can we feel the tenderness of life if we refuse to take those gloves off? Sure, gloves may protect us from the discomfort of certain things but keeping them on can also cause us to miss the many textures and depths that make our lives fuller.  

How can we truly absorb life if we’re constantly shielded by gloves (metaphorically speaking) that guard us from experiencing the pricks, thorns, and pain that can provide real growth and reveal the splendor that adds so much dimensionality and fullness to life.

I get it. Sometimes we just don’t have it in us to go out without the gloves on. We don’t have the capacity (in the moment) to handle the uncomfortable, painful and perhaps profane that we encounter along the way.  When in this space, wearing gloves is a form of self-care that we must incorporate in our daily practices to remain healthy and happy. But, we need to remain aware of this choice and recognize our courage for putting the gloves on in the first place. We must not succumb to wearing gloves as our default state, allowing them to become permanent fixtures or appendages to our person.

I believe one of the secrets to purposeful living is knowing when to put the gloves on and when to take them off. Yes, it is important to be vulnerable and open; however, it’s also important to protect ourselves when dealing with the thorns, known and anticipated. And it’s okay if we get it wrong occasionally. The key is to learn from life’s lessons so we can grow and become wiser individuals. When we inevitably make the choice (and demonstrate our courage) by not wearing gloves, and get bruised or cut anyway, then we will learn and do differently next time. Isn’t life more meaningful and beautiful when we can experience it with all our senses?

For me, ‘taking the gloves off’ means being myself in all places, acknowledging the truth, surrounding myself with positive people, offering only love, knowing God is always with me, and being relentless in my pursuit to realize my full potential. I simply don’t have time to fumble with putting gloves on all the time. Let’s keep it real. Oftentimes, the act of putting on and wearing gloves creates more tension by slowing us down, adding unnecessary anxiety to the situation, and forcing us to do just ‘one more thing’ before acting.  We must believe in ourselves and our ability to discern, navigate and manage through any situation. Life is for living and feeling, and feeling is everything.

Do I have a few scars from not wearing gloves? Absolutely. Do I believe the magical moments of life reside in being present, open, and vulnerable? Unequivocally, yes!

#taketheglovesoff #glovesoff#operationbutterfly

The Magic of a Lint Roller

The Magic of a Lint Roller

By Sheila Thornton Warfield

Have you ever thought of what a lint roller as a metaphor could offer…Using a lint roller to remove the build-up of lint – things, places and people – that doesn’t belong in our lives - is a powerful metaphor!

Whether remnants of fabrics, hair, dust, pet hair, pollen, you name it, lint occurs in many forms, and we must take special care to maintain our clothing (our person) in ways that allow us to show up as intended and be the best version of ourselves.

Ridding our lives and/or minimizing our exposure to the new lint, i.e. negative people, experiences that compromise us, likes, dislikes, comments, etc., is crucial to refraining from the distractions that often diminish the quality of our lives and taint how we see the world. Lint maintenance is a way of life!

To acknowledge the lint and use a lint roller to collect, and then discard of what no longer belongs, reflects self-awareness and self-care. It’s not always obvious, but in acting, we are thrusted into seeing our truth and taking the reins of our own lives. Each positive step acts as a building block for helping us to reconstruct our own stories.

Ignoring, avoiding, and delaying the action of removing lint weighs us down, distorts what we see, and impedes our ability to view ourselves without all the extra baggage (lint). We must be vigilant in removing and reducing the things, people, and choices that interfere with our ability to live the life we crave and deserve.

Freeing ourselves of the lint, regardless of form, allows us to eliminate all that’s no longer relevant and healthy - negative people and situations, bad habits, fear, guilt, anger, horrible bosses / coworkers, sensationalism, so-called friends, dysfunctional family members, and the like. It’s difficult to return to our authentic selves without clearing the layers of lint clouding our view. We need to remember who we are and reactivate our individual superpowers!  

We must be careful not to take the short cut sometimes triggered by our perception that it’s easier to simply replace the thing or dare I say, person, that’s become linty and stodgy. We believe it would just take too long to remove all the buildup, so we ‘throw it all out’ or ‘move on’ without resolving.

What I’m suggesting is that we don’t have to always overhaul our lives to face the lint that exists. We just need to have the discernment to deal with it when we see it and prevent it from piling on. Address it before it begins to mount and become more work than we believe it’s worth. Waiting and avoiding are costly decisions. We need to remember that the careful and intentional curation of our lives is a worthwhile investment.  

So, take out your lint roller, focus, and with courage, apply some grit and remove the things, practices and people that prevent you from absorbing and reflecting the beautiful and brilliant light we all have.

As you remember the lint refills for your roller,

1. Be sure to engage in positive practices that help you to renew and reconnect with who you are.

2. Be committed to living your values.

3. Embrace and love who you see in the mirror - without the lint. You’re beautiful.

In truth, no matter how often we remove lint from our lives, it always returns in various forms. So, self-maintenance and perhaps some 3M replacement squares are needed. Own this for yourself and do what’s needed for self-actualization.

Regardless of effort, you’re worth it. Show yourself some love and start rolling!

What could you use your lint roller for?

#magiclintroller #lintroller #removelint #operationbutterfly

He Loves Me

He Loves Me

By Sheila Thornton Warfield 

For the last several months, I have felt so much when flying. Writing, contemplating, resolving, and transitioning with each leg of a flight. And with each trip I questioned my decisions and wondered about my future. It was as though I was having these mini breakthroughs triggered by uncertainty, disappointment, frustration, fear, guilt and managing so many balls - all the time.

But not this time! On this day in August, the clarity and peace I feel are reminders of my recent transformation and that through God anything and all things are possible. To pause and be still long enough to see and experience Truth is both affirming and uplifting.

This new place, where I’ve never been before, has provided a clear view of an uncertain road I have yet to traverse but I know God is with me, and the peace that comes from this knowing helps cradle this new place where I now live.

He lifts. He warms. He clears. He answers. He simply is and He’s here with me and that fills me beyond measure.

I’m a huge James Ingram fan and since the spring I’ve found myself listening to more and more of his music. Of course, it helps that my husband is also a big fan.

One of my favorite songs by James Ingram is “She Loves Me,” and the more that I’ve listened to the song recently, the more I’ve come to reinterpret it to mean God (He) loves me, and that changed everything! It has provided an amazing spiritual boost.

God is and has always been the one true constant in my life and I’ve always felt his presence since I was a little girl. He is always with me – through the good and not so good. And all that I’m able to do, the heights I’ve been able to soar, and all the love my life holds – are all because He loves me.

Here are James Ingram’s lyrics reimagined…

“He (God) Loves Me”

My God, He makes no demands

He waits for me with open hands

He understands

My God, gives me all I need

He understands the fears in me,

and when I’m down, you know He dries all my tears for me

Because He loves me

Don’t know what He sees in me

He loves me

I’ll follow wherever He leads

He makes me the best that I can be

I was lonely

I never, never understood

I never realized that it could be so good

Until He loved me

I don’t know what He sees in me

He loves me

I’ll follow wherever He leads

He makes me the best that I can be

Because He loves me

My God loves me

Every Day...

by Sheila Thornton Warfield

As I listen to one of my favorite songs by Fleerwood Mac, Everywhere, I am inspired to accompany it with my new mantra— Every Day!

Every Day

Every day, I will focus on the now and creating a reality that aligns with my values, my spirit, and allows me to be the best version of myself.

Every day, I will look forward and not backwards.  I will forgive myself for mistakes I’ve made and those who meant to do me harm. I will move forth with grace and a sense of hope and embrace new beginnings.

Every day, I will choose to offer only good to this world and those around me.

Every day, I will endeavor to be like water that finds it way to the infinite ocean, and in spite of its long, arduous and uncertain journey, it flows with hope, a knowing that it will move past barriers, and ultimately reconnect with its source.  This will be a reminder to me that my life has meaning and purpose and I am entitled to grow as a beautiful human being. 

Every day, I will know that God is in me, with me, through me, around me, behind me, in front of me, below me and above me. I am only here because of Him and the opportunity for me to make the world I live in a better place.

Every day, I will seek the beauty and good in all things and know that peace resides in me and all that I have to do is simply SEE.

Every day, I will practice TM and leverage its ability to make life richer, sweeter, and more energizing and as it helps me keep things in perspective.

Every day, I will engage in some kind of physical activity that helps make me stronger and perfectly healthy.

Every day, I will learn something new about the things I love:  gardening, writing, reading, marketing, branding, enlightenment, traveling, mentoring others, spirituality, and creating a life journey with ease.  

Every day, I will withhold judgement and expectations.

Every day, I will respect everyone’s choice to BE WHO THEY ARE and demand respect for who I CHOOSE TO BE.

Every day, I will transcend the distractions that add no value to me, my life or this world.

Every day, I will be grateful for all that’s good in my life.

Every day, I will LOVE me and ACCEPT me and know that I am WORTHY and my life is filled with abundance, love, peace, perfect health, energy and belonging.

How will you define your Every Day moments?

Leaving 'Gumby Like' Actions Behind

Leaving ‘Gumby Like’ Actions Behind

Do you remember Gumby?  That cute, green, awkward and incredibly flexible clay animated character, created by Art Clokey, that had its own TV show years ago.  As a child, I would laugh out loud at Gumby and its adventures, despite the limitations of clay animations back in the day!

I would watch intently as Gumby would stretch and contort itself to adapt to new challenges to reach its objective, alone or with its best buddy.  There were plenty of missions involved and problems to solve.  In truth, I don’t remember all the ‘whys’ associated with Gumby’s adventures or plights.  What I do remember is that Gumby would always return to its original shape.

Gumby would do whatever it took to get pass hurdles - oftentimes unevenly; sometimes a little freaky; and most times not very pretty.  It was Gumby’s effort and tenacity for taking action that has always stuck with me. Traits often required no matter where one is on their life journey. A reminder that to get to the other side, we must be courageous, flexible, determined, and action oriented. 

As I matured and had my own family, I used to feel so proud of my Gumby like heroics and adventures of being a working mother, wife, daughter, volunteer, and career woman.  And like Gumby, I stretched myself constantly.  Most times it wasn’t easy or conducted with much grace.

As I became an empty nester, there where so many times I didn't quite recognize myself.  To get back to my authentic self and shape (like Gumby), I knew I had to rediscover myself, realign my boundaries, and reimagine my life in this moment.  I would need to activate my muscle memory for real change to enable a smooth transition and allow this genuine, re-emerging version of me to take shape. 

As I began to rethink and reshape my life, I found that I needed more clarity and courage to create the circumstances that would be conducive to this new version of myself and consistent with who and where I was at that time.  Authentic, honest living would be necessary to begin this new chapter.  It was an invigorating notion, and I was excited to get started.  

At first, it was daunting.  Daunting, because I knew if I were to be successful and complete in becoming truly authentic, I needed to be vulnerable, realistic, and incredibly honest with myself and those I loved.  

What was clear to me was that I would no longer distort my life like Gumby for people, things and matters that were incongruent with my values or my renewed sense of purpose.  And this felt wholesome, reaffirming, and serene.

I would no longer engage in making ‘conscious sacrifices’ for others, all while denying my heart’s desire.  I had to trust in myself and have faith in those that I loved most in the world and their ability to accept and embrace me and my choices.  I had to commit to always stive to live my life on purpose – aligning my heart and spirit on the inside with how I showed up in my life on the outside. 

Being flexible is a good thing and it opens us up in ways hard to imagine.  It also promotes growth and empowers us to stay connected to this ever-changing, beautiful world we live in.

These days I refuse to become ‘Gumbylike’ for things that just don't matter. Life’s too short to waste time in this way.  My commitment and determination must be to my desire to contribute good to this world, and I can only do this by aligning my heart and purpose.  For me, this is the only place to be.

What ‘Gumby like’ actions do you need to leave behind?

Dandelions

By Sheila Thornton Warfield

The hope that resides in and guides the dandelion seed should inspire us all to embrace change with openness, excitement and wonder. Lose ourselves in the wind that lifts us and carries us to a new place, even if temporarily, and then ready ourselves to do it all over again. 

For change is the one constant, and when we accept our unconscious and conscious ability for regeneration, what results beautifully mirrors what we see in nature, and we can step into living a more honest and authentic life. We become freer. It’s okay to change.  It’s okay to get older and move along the various stages of life.  It’s okay to make mistakes.  It’s okay to change directions.  It’s okay, because as humans, we are fallible, and coming to terms with our imperfection and seeing the beauty within them and the unique gifts we each bring to the world, that’s where we will find love and self acceptance.

Seeing the beauty in and being appreciative of ourselves, regardless of what life stage we currently occupy, fills us and creates light that we can bask in now.  And that’s worth letting go for.  Come on now — just let go and let the wind take you were it may and see how life can be so much fuller and so much more than you ever imagined.

The Winds of Change

The Winds of Change

By Sheila Thornton Warfield

I know you’ve heard this before, “the only constant is change”. Yet, many of us forget this and believe that we can determine when change occurs in our lives.  However, what we do control is our response to change and that’s something to remember and act on.  Truth is, when we face the wind gusts of change, we clinch onto what is solid, familiar, and safe. Then, we close our eyes tightly, hoping and praying that when it’s time to reopen them, we will be untouched.   

Most often, these gusts trigger fear, anxiety, and uncertainty. We are at risk of becoming immobilized.  When we find the courage to open our eyes (even if our lives have not been directly impacted), the world around us has changed.  And, if the world has changed and our communities have been impacted, how can we say our lives have not changed in any way.  The modest shift in consciousness suggests we are now different. 

Reframing and removing the rose-colored glasses that can warp our sense of reality to see the truth takes real courage.  We must see what is to find our way and navigate the unexpected circumstances triggered by change.  This is how we pave our way to new beginnings.   

Our world continues to evolve in ways we’ve never imagined. The collective pain over the last two years has reminded us of what’s important and has created an unusual mindset, level of renewal, and focus that have helped us get back to the core of what’s important - more quality time for ourselves, more quality time with family and loved ones, and engaging in experiences that add value and meaning to our lives.

Some of us are indeed more ‘woke’ than ever, and with this new awakening, how do we dare start over?  For many of us, what got us here was pain - unexpected deaths, loss of jobs, loss of connections, loss of certainty, loss.  Now, we must re-emerge stronger and with greater clarity.  We must not look to yesterday as a measure for gauging our happiness or quality of life but look ahead and forge new paths in unforeseen and unfamiliar surroundings.  Being courageous, being incredibly honest with ourselves, and taking a leap of faith are all required to welcome the life that’s waiting for us.  One of my favorite quotes is by Joseph Campbell — “We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”

“We must be willing to let go….”, I love this start because it reminds us that it’s a choice to ‘let go’ and a chance to rethink those ‘plans’ we’ve set and envisioned for ourselves.  I believe this quote also challenges us to remain open to the possibilities that perhaps we’ve never considered until this moment.  We simply need to get out of our own ways (and heads).

Now, that’s taking the winds of change and harnessing its energy to achieve the lives we are meant and deserve to have.

Let’s embrace the LIFE waiting for us!

The Cracks That Define Us

The Cracks that Define Us

By Sheila Thornton Warfield

Cracks create experiences that shape and mold our unique journeys.  When we’re open to the lessons they bring, we raise our consciousness in ways that will begin to reshape our operating mindset, and as we look back, we see that the twists, turns, detours, delays, smooth and quiet stretches along the way were necessary for our special journeys and stories.

Cracks in relationships, finances, careers, health and spirituality oftentimes challenge our faith, confidence and sense of well-being. They cause us to pause, sometimes permanently, until we can elevate ourselves by healing and addressing the scar that reminds us that self-care and love are critical to our path forward.  We must work tenaciously to rise high enough to see the big picture, reframing and adapting to the cracks, and embrace the change and be grateful for the strength, resolve and resilience that allowed us to push through.

Seeing ourselves differently and more honestly will allow us to live a truer life.  Our imperfection brings light to our beautiful form that ‘s unique to each of us and shapes who we are.   

The growth moments from cracks make use wiser as we age, and the scars formed by them  allows us to see the beauty and purpose – our journeys have not been smooth and straight, but ones filled with rolling hills, valleys, uncharted paths, curves, potholes, and amazing vistas with depth and significance.  The cracks remind us of our inner strength, endurance, and determination, and we are more beautiful because of them.  Let’s wear them with pride and share the stories behind them with enthusiasm, wonder, and love.  Our lives have been shaped by them.  Truth is often found in the ‘cracks’ in our lives. Whether by design or by default, cracks will happen regardless of our ability to take risks, live out loud, crawl into our caves or put our hands in the sand – the cracks will happen anyway- sometimes so wide that they become craters and other times ever so slight to signal it’s time to pivot or experience real pain. 

Spiritual leaders say that who we are and the lives we live have been shaped our choices along the way.  While I don’t question this, I often have wondered should I have pushed more?  Should I have traveled one mile farther to see what was around the bend in the road?  When I decided to intentionally delay forward movement, did it cause me to miss out somehow?  Did I miss out on being at the right place at the right time?  Did the companions I allowed to accompany me on my journey enhance or prevent me from living my best life? Is this all there is?  Did allowing others to hitch their wagon onto mine create an unnecessary burden and hinder my ability to live my truest life?

 The cracks that let light in warms us and gives us hope that the pain we feel in this moment will subside.  They compel us to imagine a future, a life, a love, a different moment that breathes new life in our lives and one where we can take all the lessons we’ve learned thus far and use them to make the road ahead so much more meaningful.  A life where there’s no pretending, no living in fear, no living someone else’s story but LIVING for oneself - fully, openly, and truly.  Where those we choose to be around can be content in themselves and their own lives.  And, together, we all bring who we truly are to each other, and the acceptance and love that follow creates a connection so much more beautiful.  

Having the courage to pause and take the time to confront the cracks will create gateways to new beginnings and allow us to shed unnecessary skin.  We become more open to both releasing and absorbing, and the magic, grace, and warmth that settle in, confirm what we already know – we are okay, and everything will be alright.  That’s the moment that we must embrace and strive to create.  However, we must also pay close attention, because as we spend our lives ‘filling the cracks’ and/or ‘stepping over’ the cracks, we don’t want to miss the chance to renew, rethink, and reimagine our lives in ways that didn’t seem possible before.  Cracks, and the light that emits from them, provide us the chance to change directions, shed light on our lives and the cast of characters that should (and shouldn’t be) part our stories, provide clarity so we can find solutions more easily, and give us permission to ask ourselves ‘what do I want to do now?  What do I want to do next?

Lastly, cracks give way to fresh air that help heal the pain from our experiences.  Our healing and remaining scars reinforces how much we’ve grown, our resilience, our strength, and power of God’s love.

Cracks help define us and our journeys, and we are better because of them.

The Power of Gratitude

The Power of Gratitude

By Sheila Thornton Warfield

Do you ever have moments when you question everything about your life?  Did I make the right choices?  Am I where I’m supposed to be? Should I have been more ambitious?  Did I choose the right career?  Am I living in the right town?  Did I take the right job? Have I realized my full potential? On and on and on.

So many questions, and given the pandemic many of us have had lots of time to ask such questions and ponder way too long about what could be or should have been. In fact, mustering up the patience and energy to simply engage in each day has been challenging for most of us.  Surely, finding moments to be grateful is important yet it has  become more and more difficult as the pandemic continues and 2020 nears its end, and most of us would exclaim ‘2020, GOOD RIDDANCE!”. 

I have experienced such moments recently, and as I asked myself a few of the questions above,  I felt myself spiraling to a place that was very dangerous.  The place where doubt consumes, fear envelops, and darkness threatens to eclipse all that’s good and positive in one’s life.  Luckily, as I began my descent, I experienced a brief moment when I thought of one thing in my life that I was grateful for, then two, then three, and then four, etc.  Before I knew it, I was once again immersed in pure light that seemed to cause regeneration and I was once again filled with hope.  The many things I  began to be thankful for — a loving life partner, a healthy family, feline companions, a sunny day, my 99-year-old grandfather —  released a feeling of gratitude that washed over me like waves and it was loving, gentle and beautiful.  I was transformed in an instant and became even grateful for my ability to shift and to step back into the light.    

What I thought started off as a violent gust of wind that would certainly blow me away turned out to be a sweet summer breeze that allowed me to taste the sweetness of and in my life.  From that moment on I focused on the now and did constructive activities that would bring harmony and ease to my life.

Reframing helped me get through the possible darkness and taught me an important lesson — gratitude can cause a significant and immediate shift toward positivity and peace.  The trick is that you shouldn’t try to imagine how and when the change will happen or the resulting emotion.  Just let go and let it happen.  Embrace the grace that will find its way to you.  I promise you one thing, what comes will give you just what you need in the moment you need it the most. And that’s a gift we should always be willing to give ourselves and to do so quietly, silently, and fully. 

 The resulting outlook allows us to see the blessing, beauty, and wonder in who we are and the lives we live — now.

The Stories We Live

The Stories We Live

Whose story are you living?  The one that you have imagined for yourself or are you living your life based on someone’s else story for you.  Sometimes it’s hard to tell and can be quite confusing and distressing. So much input from those around us -- our parents, our spouses, our kids, co-workers, television, social media, on and on and on.  So much so that we often lose the clarity that we once had about who we are and how we wanted to go about living our own lives and stories.

For sure, it requires discipline and focus, but most importantly the courage to be authentic to simply be who we are.  Yes, turning oneself inside out, in other words, being vulnerable, is not easy.  We especially want those we care about to accept and embrace who we are and all of our majesty.  That’s super scary and oftentimes we simply ‘go with someone else’s flow’ for the sake of peace.  For me, living a lie and making others stories my own or being pulled into other stories is not the present or future I want to create for myself.  Yet, it’s taken me years to realize I had suppressed much of my own story. Twenty-five years of marriage is indeed a blessing, and I’m thankful for my loving and supportive life partner.  However, so much of our early years together I found myself ‘living his story’ versus living the life I truly wanted to live.  Then came children and my life became secondary—this is common for so many parents.  Once I became a mother, I was all about helping to raise our children in a loving, safe and harmonious home.  Don’t get me wrong.  I’m very aware of the conscious sacrifices I made for my family and I would do so again.  I just wished I would have had the wisdom and skills to ‘pull up and out’ sooner.    

During those times when I felt so overwhelmed, I would desperately fight for my own voice to be heard.  And, when I thought my own voice overpowered those of my children, I would acquiesce again and again.  Thank God for the teenage years when our children’s attitudes and need for independence compelled me to break out of this habit.  I became super woke.  It hit me like a bolt of lightning and reminded me that sooner or later I would have to return to me.  That was the moment — like the lotus — I decided to re-bloom!  I often wondered what I would find once I began the journey back to me.  Would I still be there? Would my essential self be just below the surface or would I have to dig so very deep to reach the best parts of me that had been long buried?  A wake-up call indeed.  And, to make things more challenging, I would have to do all of this self-reflection and soul searching while supporting those I love most in the world who were experiencing their own rites of passages and various stages of transition.

For me, taking back the reins of my own life and being the author of my own story were not choices. It was a second chance at living on purpose and authentically. I knew I would have to to use ‘Truth’ as my lens.  Not half-truths or someone else’s truth.  Clean and simple truth based on my values — faith, spirituality, family, and strong sense of purpose.  One thing I do know is that ‘Truth’ as your lens brings reality into check very quickly.  It’s not always comfortable and can be painful given the unfiltered reflection.  However, being honest with yourself and having the courage to look through the lens of truth will help you begin to reshape the essence of your own story.  And this time, you can do so by saying ‘Yes’ to your own life story, and saying ‘No’ to being willingly, or unwillingly pulled into others’ stories.  It’s liberating and fills you up with hope and optimism. 

If we can just begin again, but this time with truth as our lens, can you imagine the contentment that you would feel? The alignment of inner (what we feel and desire most inside) and outer (how we live and express ourselves) would bring such meaning, peace, self-discovery, and purpose.  And, of course, love would be there because when we show up authentically, offer compassion, and keep ourselves open to good, ‘Love Simply Is’ and never fades.

“The lotus flower blooms most beautifully from the deepest and thickest mud.”

— Buddhist Proverb

God Moments

Do you ever experience what I call “God moments”?  Those magical, blissful moments and/or encounters where everything seems to just fall into place. And, life in that moment is perfection – no matter your circumstances.  The seemingly colossal mistake you made ends up being exactly what you needed, or it puts you exactly where you needed to be.  Perhaps you’ve experienced those moments of pure bliss where words fall short, and you can't verbalize the amazing feeling you had.  Words and phrases simply cannot envelop the depth of the moment. 

 It’s funny, when you think you’ve reached the pinnacle of an experience, you realize there’s always more.  Our capacity for growth and love is exponential and is hard to quantify.  In truth, while I know it’s a silly statement, God never ceases to amaze me.  No matter how many times I use my intellect as the lens, what results is always so much more -- richer, deeper, more spiritual -- than I would have ever been able to imagine. 

Everyday I'm on the planet I’m grateful for the opportunity to still be here and relish the chance to learn and give good to the world.  Yes, there’s so much I don’t know, and my enthusiasm for learning keeps me up at night.  In truth, regardless of the number of degrees or the years of experience one has, there’s so much more to know.  Leaving ourselves open to learn, witnessing different perspectives, and seeing things through the eyes of the innocent will often reacquaint us with the wonder that resides within.

Taking time to be quiet; being brave enough and patient are the keys to releasing our God moments. No judgement; no comparisons; no deadlines; just letting what’s inherently good in us to merely shine through.  That’s my quest, anyway.  And, it will be a journey of a lifetime.  But, oh what a full life it will be.

God moments compel us to fully embrace the present and give us hope that life can and should be lived in light and with purpose.  There’s a peace in not having all of the answers and being okay with this.  When we have the yearning to learn, then we should learn and grow.  Our gift is knowing that we are open to fully exploring what could be in addition to what is.  There's such delight, joy, and magic in being open to all that's good and positive.

Let’s consistently strive to uncover the God moments that are available each and every day and use them to lift, infuse and color our lives with wonder, hope and love.

A Letter To My Daughters

My Darling Daughters,

These days are fused with tension and uncertainty triggered by extraordinary events and circumstances.  Yet, I remain hopeful, and I know that the good and the beauty in life, in humanity, will prevail.

 This is a time that I will take my wisdom as a woman of color and leader to offer lessons and advice to help enhance and advance the world.  I will choose to be firm, authentic, and honorable in all that I do.  And, I will do so consistently.  Will it be hard? Absolutely. However, I know that the power, grace and compassion that reside in me also reside in you.  Unleash it!  Share it!  Let it propel you to a life beyond anything that you’ve ever imagined.  A life true and filled with love and opportunity.  Our gift is to be present to love and care about those in our community.  Jump in with both feet and know that whatever happens, you are capable and resilient.  And, you will become stronger because of it.

 You are, and have always been enough!  Love yourself more than anyone else ever could.  Offer only your good and love to the world.

 Love,

Mom / Bonus Mom

The Audacious Redwood

Embrace Your Majestic Nature Like the Audacious Redwood

There are so many times when the noise around drowns out my own thoughts and desires. I fight to simply get through, and once I do I'm exhausted.

As we struggle to know our own divinity and hear our own voices, we must find ways to extend our reach to the fresh air that will breathe new life and hope into our minds.

Our faith and determination must resemble the tenacity and inspiration that are synonymous with the essential traits of a redwood seedling—trusting in its own purpose and existence and always striving to align with its true nature. We must do likewise, aligning with our beliefs and values that reflect our true voices and reflect who we are and are meant to be!

Our faith in ourselves must transcend the moments and encounters that would challenge our peace and sense of self. We must hang on with a fierce focus and tireless effort because it can dictate the quality of our lives.We must realize that in spite of not knowing what’s around the corner or what’s happening on the other side of the fence or the world or what we see on TV or on the web…

Our life will be exactly what we See it to be. So, go ahead...dare to See and believe in You! Embrace the majesty and grace that reside in you, similar to that of a redwood. Simply begin. Begin by pushing through the soil, the ferocious winds, the rain, the rocks, the weeds, and all that might threaten your existence.

Simply reach and believe. And, KNOW that when you surpass and clear all that would stand in your way - the uncertainty the fog brings, the discomfort of fear, and the heaviness that comes with all that’s not right in the world – you will be in a place where God is and has always been, in You.

Extend yourself with faith and a knowing that God is here, and there and how you see your life will be transformed. Be courageous and stretch beyond the soil, the fog and the clouds. Endeavor to become just who you are and are meant to be. See YOU!

Let’s believe in our own existence and purpose in this world and ignite the love and hope that live in all of us. Remember that each and every moment that we can exclaim, “I’m still here”, our very essence echoes inspiration to all those around us.

Dare to See your own majestic nature and know you are worthy and worth the fight to be here. We must embrace the audaciousness of the redwood seedling that exists in all of us.

Choose Wisely

"Choose Wisely" by Sheila Thornton Warfield

This wonderful world of ours has so much that's good and beautiful yet the constant pounding of negativity that permeates our society today constantly challenges our ability to be positive or at peace.  The persistent pounding, combined with the deterioration of so many attitudes in our culture, has created feelings of despair for so many.  Thus, many of us have begun to match negative energy to negative energy!  It's exhausting.  And, all of this is exasperated by feelings of 'no control'.

How do we stay ourselves when there's so much distracting us from being the positive, kind, and loving human beings we are meant to be.  Many of us know what to do--we pray, we fast, we mediate, we exercise, we love, we spend time with those we love, we...so on and so forth.  If we weren't consciously allowing these beautiful drops of positivity to fall into our cups, we would be truly lost, and I, for one, would be a basket case.  Yet, no matter how often I consciously allow the good of my life to flow into my cup, my cup is continuously challenged.  I dance around believing my cup is full and the next thing I know, it's nearly empty.  Then I wonder how it got that way!

I was recently having a conversation with my step son about the overall peace and love that comes from having a full cup.  Up until our conversation, I had always imagined my cup full but isolated.  (Until this moment, I never realized that I had subconsciously separated my cup / myself in this way.)  During our conversation, I had an epiphany that brought tears to my eyes for I finally got it:  When we are connected to God or the Source and our cups are continuously submerged in His love, peace and grace, we are held in such a way where our cups over flow with love, abundance and everlasting joy.  All the time.  When we are submerged in this place of God / the Source, we are complete and divine.  I had inadvertently structured my mindset with lack and the perennial search of finding things outside of me to fill My Cup.  I was incredibly grateful for this Satori moment.

My friends, endeavor to be submerged in the abundance of God and you will begin to see life and all of its beings differently.  Most importantly, you will BE filled up beyond what you've ever imagined or would be able to have if you did so in isolation, like I once did.

So, live your life and CHOOSE WISELY!  I believe the eternal sweetness that comes from knowing that we are always connected to God / the Source is worth the effort.  We simply need to take the time to be silent, pay attention, surrender to love, and embrace God's ever presence in our lives.  Let's let our Cups runneth over.

Don't Worry

"Don't Worry" by Sheila Thornton Warfield

Five years ago, I asked my then 91-year-old Grandfather, what was the key to living a long, youthful life, and, he replied, “Don’t worry about what you have and don’t worry about what you don’t have.”

This year, my Grandfather turned 96 years old and at a family gathering to celebrate his long 96 years, everyone froze like they were getting ready to receive advice from EF Hutton to hear his words of wisdom about the secret to living a long life, and once again he said, “Don’t worry about what you have and don’t worry about what you don’t have.”

It’s a simple thing really.  It’s really about Appreciating and Letting go.  As I thought more about his wise words, I’ve come to realize the profound truth in them.  Think about it...what if we simply embraced and appreciated what’s in our lives and didn’t worry about what we didn’t have.  I’m not suggesting that we become complacent.  Not at all.  I’m talking about doing our best to improve our lives — whatever that means—but not spending the energy worrying and stressing about what we don’t have, right now.  For the other side of the coin, ‘not worrying about what we do have’, this is not something we commonly discuss because we are constantly chasing the future--- for people, places, and things!  We are often completely preoccupied with acquiring what we don’t have, and it's worth addressing.  How many of us become immobilized because we are afraid of losing what we have---jobs, money, status, relationships, youth, good health, etc.  If we discuss anything out loud, it’s usually our fear of loosing the job that provides the income to sustain a standard of living. We often silently suffer from fear (and the monsters we create in our own minds) of loosing other Good in our lives, especially people.  My Grandfather’s advice is a reminder that WORRY is an incredible waste of time.  We just need to Enjoy, Appreciate, and Lean into all that’s good in our lives.  And, we need to acknowledge and accept that what one person defines as ‘good’ might be totally different from someone else’s.  We’re all different and our needs differ accordingly.  It’s really about living our lives in truth and being honest with those around us, especially those we love.

My Grandfather has always had a deep influence on me.   He represents acceptance, unconditional love, faith, forgiveness, and family.  I feel incredibly blessed to have been fortunate enough to be part of his lineage.  At the recent family gathering to celebrate his birthday, my Grandfather added a few more comments this time to his words of wisdom, “Prayer is important and I talk to God all of the time.  I’m not alone and I have all of you.”

Enough said.